Travels in rural Bengal - visiting a large household

I posted a photo previously; of a woman in a white saree milking cows. She was wearing the "inchi paar", the plain saree with a small one inch border in blue or green or brown. That type of saree is meant for widows. It never has red in the border. Red in Bengal is the colour of auspiciousness.

Contrast that with this other family I visited. They are landed gentry with several bighas of land.

The lady in white and red is the female head of this household and her husband is next to her. She is a tiny Jaya Bhaduri to her husband's tall Amitabh figure. The house where she is standing is an old one.

Her "laal paar" (saree with red border) is brand new and it is crackling stiff like tissue. The red of the saree along with her shakha pola (red and white bangles), and the sindoor on her forehead, announce her marital status as a shoubhagyaboti. Her husband is alive and kicking, she is blessed.

She has 10 sons! Her prestige is therefore doubly high. In one of the many inner courtyards of her house I met with two of her bahus. They were wearing the printed cotton that seems to be a big favourite in the villages. Batik is locally done in this district and is also very popular.

With me is Dr. Sarah Lamb an anthropologist who is studying aging in different communities in Bengal. Sarah lived for 2 years in a small Bengali village called Mangaldihi; she speaks fluent Bengali. We came on a nostalgia visit to meet an elderly aunt, whom Sarah had met a couple of decades ago.

The elderly aunt was relaxing in the sun when we saw her. She is more than 90 years old. You can see her in white blouse and petticoat with her back to the camera.

She was widowed at the age of 31 and had no children. She came back to her maternal home when she became old because she felt her in-laws house was not the place where she could get care. The tall gentleman in the dhoti is her brother.

She inherited land from her husband and in exchange for looking after her, she has willed the land to her brother. Within 5 minutes of meeting, she explained this to Sarah and me. She wanted us to know that she was not freeloading on her maternal home. A girl never belongs in her mother's house, you see...

I learnt a lot about rural society and structures for the survival of the elderly through this visit. She has come to her maternal home because this is where she still has more comfort. She wants to die here. Although she said clearly to us that she will hit a century before she dies!